Bohemian Conservative
BREAKING NEWS: SCIENTIFIC EVIDENCE PROVES NEWS-WEAK/KORAN-GATE STORY IS FALSE
When I first heard about the Koran-gate ballyhoo last week, I dismissed it as a non-story; who cares, right? If these ignorant camel jockeys want to riot and kill because of a book supposedly flushed down a toilet, big deal. The fact that they will come out in droves to riot and kill over supposed "desecration" of a book, yet are amazingly silent when their brothers decapitate a hostage with a dull butter knife, speaks volumes about what a culture of death Islam is.
But then it occurred to me that a Koran is a fairly big book - roughly the size of a Bible - and it would have to be a toilet with either a large hole or a lot of suction to successfully flush such a large book. So in the interest of accuracy in reporting, I performed my own experiment. I went to my local bookseller and purchased a hard-bound copy of the Koran. Upon returning home I placed the book in my toilet and flushed it; and flushed it again, and again. Guess what: IT DIDN'T WORK!!!!
So, in order for our Muslim friends to believe such a hoax, either they have very strong suction in their toilets, or the hole in the bottom of their toilets is very large. Since most Muslim goat fornicators shit in a hole in the ground and don't know what a toilet even is, I can see how they could fall for such a rumor.
I now have a soggy Koran and a clogged toilet. I need to go find the plunger...
**UPDATE** Reader BobF just informed me that the desecratory flushing my have actually occurred at the hands of one of Muslim's finest...and he cheated: He tore the pages out before flushing!
But then it occurred to me that a Koran is a fairly big book - roughly the size of a Bible - and it would have to be a toilet with either a large hole or a lot of suction to successfully flush such a large book. So in the interest of accuracy in reporting, I performed my own experiment. I went to my local bookseller and purchased a hard-bound copy of the Koran. Upon returning home I placed the book in my toilet and flushed it; and flushed it again, and again. Guess what: IT DIDN'T WORK!!!!
So, in order for our Muslim friends to believe such a hoax, either they have very strong suction in their toilets, or the hole in the bottom of their toilets is very large. Since most Muslim goat fornicators shit in a hole in the ground and don't know what a toilet even is, I can see how they could fall for such a rumor.
I now have a soggy Koran and a clogged toilet. I need to go find the plunger...
**UPDATE** Reader BobF just informed me that the desecratory flushing my have actually occurred at the hands of one of Muslim's finest...and he cheated: He tore the pages out before flushing!
On Thursday, Chairman of the Joint Chiefs Gen. Richard Myers told reporters that the only evidence of any Koran desecration unearthed so far was a log notation describing a Muslim prisoner tossing pages from his holy book into the toilet.
"A detainee was reported by a guard to be ripping pages out of a Koran and putting them in a toilet to stop it up as a protest," Gen. Myers said, in quotes picked up by the Washington Times. "But not where the U.S. did it."
posted by Mae at 10:49 AM
4 Comments:
I for one, will be going out, buying a Koran and mailing one charred page after the other to the Arab league.
Turns out it was acutally a Muslim prisoner tearing the pages out of a Koran and stuffing them down a toilet, trying to plug it up. So much for their respect of their holy book.
You would need to flush many times to get the whole Koran into the sewer system then. That makes sense.
I have a stump grinder. We could try and see if that helps get the Koran down the dumper.
Maybe the blender would help...
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